What is controlling you?


This past week in my group counseling course we discussed Johari window .Here is some back drop information on a model he developed the model works using four area quadrants. Anything you know about yourself and are willing to share is part of your open area.  Individuals can build trust between themselves by disclosing information to others and learning about others from the information they in turn disclose about themselves. I want to focus on the aspect that you do not know about yourself, but others within the group have become aware of, is in your blind area. With the help of feedback from others you can become aware of some of your positive and negative traits as perceived by others and overcome some of the personal issues that may be inhibiting your personal or group dynamics within the team.

The assignment was a reflection piece. We had to name a time in our lives where we were blind to a particular area and others had to reveal it to us. I shared with my classmates how I spoke impulsively. I would say whatever was on my mind for the sake of being honest with absolutely no regards to whose feelings I was potentially hurting. The verdict came back however and I was offending everyone around me. It really crushed my spirit because I am definitely not a person that wants to tear other people down, but despite that quality I thought I carried, I was in fact tearing everyone around me down. During this process in my life, I was starting my relationship back up with God. As I stated in a previous blog, our words are powerful and we speak life or death into others. So what are you speaking? God had to transform me, first he humbled me and then he showed me how to speak the truth with love.

So in this blog I want to help others achieve one of the fruits of the spirit which is self-control. Do you constantly find yourself in rage when things don’t go your way? Do you speak maliciously about others or to others and don’t care about hurting their feelings. Do you justify your behaviors of yelling, cursing or just being plain nasty with your mouth by stating you are just a passionate person? Unfortunately you are not walking in the spirit of self-control……. just like I wasn’t. So how did God transform me?  What were some of the things he revealed to me, to start changing my character?

For starters if we want to change we have to spend time with God daily. I understand life gets busy and with me being a mom, a full time teacher, and grad student and maintaining relationships with family and friends, I understand that removing a task from your day seems only right. God is the wrong one to remove. I use to do a power hour every day, twenty minutes of praise and worship, twenty minutes of reading the bible and twenty minutes of intentional prayer time. My evenings got hectic so I had to divide my time. I do praise and worship in the morning, I write in a prayer journal before bed and study or listen to God’s word every night around 8 p.m. This intentional time will allow God to not only show you things about yourself but how he wants to change you, develop you, so he can use you to bring others to him. Can you imagine that if I stayed that same person? I would not be on the road having my own private practice for counseling and this ministry! That’s huge!!! It is important for our lives to be aligned with the things God is calling us to do and we don’t want our behaviors blinding our purpose.

Next Got had to humble me……. What does that mean exactly, well he revealed to me that I should exalt myself over anyone.  Romans 12:3 exhorts every Christian “not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think,” but to exercise a form of self-control: thinking “with sober judgment.” I think in this moment understanding that whatever I do in life, I can’t do it on my own. I need the gift of the Holy Spirit, walking with me and talking through me. Not so I can get the glory, which clearly I have struggled with in the past, that’s why I deemed it OK, to tell everyone like it is, as if I was God…….to being transformed by God, that people seek me out for wise counsel because the fruit of self-control is evident.

That’s my prayer for each and every one of my readers. To ask God to walk with you daily, that your actions you choose to display are not gratifying to your flesh but glorifying to him. That when people meet you there is light that is displayed and they know there is something different about you. Let us all be true witnesses for you, so that others who are lost may come to Christ because of the fruits we exhibit. In Jesus name we pray amen

Sincerely a Sista on the Sofa,