Blessings Dried Up

I recently shared an Instagram post regarding our prayers and increase. I shared how God was showing me that in this season of increase, what will my heart display? Would it be the beautiful home he blessed me with, will it be the husband I’ve been praying for? Or finally would it be my new babies or this six figured salary? If I give you this, where do I stand in your life?

That question had me at a standstill. I’ve been through so much and experienced some of my darkest hours, because God wasn’t at the center of my life. It would be senseless of me to continue to carry on as if I didn’t know who was at the head of my life. I have fallen on my face too much and humbled several times, to remain stagnant in my relationship with God. I’m asking God for more but what is my sacrifice for the more I want?

I dream of having a family and being financially stable and I believe my heart posture is where it needs to be for me to be blessed. That’s why God has opened up the door for me to counsel and start life coaching, but he doesn’t want me to lose sight of who he is in the midst of it all.

I was lying in bed one morning thinking about how my added blessings definitely will take away from the alone time. Spending time with God would be an inconvenience, so am I willing to sacrifice that time. Lord knows I am not a morning person, I don’t dislike the morning but I’m not a fan of doing activities beside my job in the early mornings. God was nudging at my heart repeatedly, showing my increase and showing me what was needed of me, to be able to have a marriage, children, purpose driven career and stewardship; which was rising early.

I know it is cliché to most to talk about this proverbs 31 woman, it is almost as if we look at her as perfection, however she had some dope qualities about herself :she serves God with all her heart, mind and soul, she was a virtuous woman, a helpmeet, she respects her husband, she teaches and nurtures her children, she served people with a cheerful and gentle spirit, she spent her money wisely, she created an inviting and loving atmosphere for her home, all while working too, and not only was she beautiful on the outside but her soul was beautiful.  INTIMIDATING but God reassured me in order to be everything that I have called you to be, you need me!

God is so good that anything he is calling us to do, it is to help us. So yes, me waking up at 5:30 mediating with God, praising his name and studying his word is a huge sacrifice, but it brings him Glory. My life will be a reflection of his goodness, I can’t work with a gentle spirit and be grumpy because of the lack of the Holy Spirit moving through me. I can’t teach my daughter Christina in a loving nurturing way, because I’m exhausted. I would lack the desire to counsel and coach others, because I am an empty. This intimate time allows for God to do so much in me, that I’m filled with Joy throughout my entire day despite the trials and detours that may come my way.

I want to share a testimony with you all about in the past when I wasn’t obedient and the very things I prayed for, God dried them up. In my late twenties God blessed me with an opportunity to work out with other moms, share our story about our weight loss and even be in a calendar. This was so important to me, because I had just gotten out of a verbal abusive relationship and weight loss was such a big issue in our relationship. So I wanted to prove to him that it could be done. I loss over 25 lbs. and was in the best shape ever. I felt so good and it showed. Initially I thank God for being healthy and having  this new found confidence, but slowly I became into myself. During this time I was extremely lustful and I let go of any convictions that I would normally get, just to get the attention I was receiving. Beauty became an idol and I worshipped my own self. Until I was humbled, I was messing with a guy that I really liked/loved/lust lol all the above but he didn’t choose me. It broke me down! I started feeding this hole, an insecurity with food. By the end of it I went from 155lbs to 210 lbs! I couldn’t stop eating and I couldn’t lose weight. I cried, and cried, and cried out to God for help.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Isaiah 40:29


I noticed that even when my health started to decline, high blood pressure, diabetes and oral hygiene, I alone couldn’t lose the weight. It was such a humbling experience and God showed up. I lost twenty lbs. in a few weeks without working out, I didn’t have an explanation until I found about the diabetes. It was however reversible and the Holy Spirit gave me wisdom to lose weight and how to keep it off. This time my experience is different and I’m giving everything back to God.

God biggest desire is for us to praise him. He is the source of everything that is good and a perfect gift.! So the least I can do, is to always give the honor back to him. This post is my reminder to go before the lord with Thanksgiving and praise him for all he’s done, the things he took away and what is to come.

Dear Heavenly Father, my prayer tonight is that you open the readers’ hearts and allow them to be lead by you only. Give them instruction for their own quiet time with you and allow them to hear your voice and be filled with your presence. Remove any idols from our hearts and let you always be at the center. In Jesus name I pray Amen.


A Sista on the Sofa,