I’ve debated for a while now with writing this post. One reason because I would have to talk more in depth about my battle with overcoming depression but also humiliation of even having an addiction. Addiction was something that from a counselor perspective I understood it however in my head it was never going to be my own personal battle. So imagine the humility I experienced when I admitted for the first time that I had a food addiction.
It started from experiencing a heart break. I remember very vividly me sitting on the couch feeling like my whole world had collapsed and deciding to indulge in a bowl of ice-cream. The pain I felt instantly went away, so I decided to have another bowl and by the end of the night I had eaten three big bowls of ice-cream and created a very unhealthy habit.
A lot of people don’t know this about me, but growing up I didn’t eat a lot of junk food or even out to eat at fast food restaurants. After attending college and learning more about what we put in our body, I took pride in what I ate and also what I gave my own child. Unfortunately my addiction grew out of control and it literally took control of me.
I went from running every day to now stopping at multiple fast food restaurants within an hour. I would go to Taco Bell grab a burrito supreme, three soft tacos , 12 mini cinnamon delights and a large strawberry shake on a daily basis. I would meal prep and waste most of the foods weekly, because I did not want it! Prior to this addiction I thought all fast food restaurants were trash! Those tables definitely turned.
I recognized it was a problem, the day I was scrapping up change to fulfill my cravings. It was bad and I didn’t see a way out. I gained over 55lbs and reached 210 lbs at my highest weight. I was overweight, mentally, physically drained and I was trapped in a bad cycle. Being overweight made me sad and I would feed my sadness with eating. I wasn’t freed from addiction until three years later when my health was at risk. I had all the diabetes symptoms and it was affecting my immune system the most. People always asked me, why are you always sick? When I realized the hard consequences of this addiction, I decided to research and understand, the demon of addiction that I was facing.
I discovered that sugar is the one of the most toxic drugs on the planet. Sugar is eight times as addictive as cocaine. It lights up the brain’s addiction center even more than cocaine. So the ideal of it just being food and not a serious issue, is most Americans acting out of ignorance.
As a counselor and someone who truly looks at health from a holistic standpoint, I had to approach this addiction the same way. First step was dealing with the depression. I knew early on I didn’t want to take medicine and I believe God gave me the wisdom to overcome not only my depression but my food addiction.
I first confessed openly to myself and my Godly community that I had an addiction. After that I started to write down prayers to fulfill the spaces in my life that I felt empty. God slowly begin to fill me up and give me more instruction. I started to research way to reverses diabetes with my eating. So this time around I was fueling my body with the right foods, which also promoted endorphins, this help with the sugar (starchy) food cravings. I started to commit to working out at least for thirty minutes a day, if I could workout outside it was even better because the sun promoted a happier attitude. As I watched the weight fall off, I became more confident and more dedicated to overcoming my addiction. I share this story because I want people to understand the severity of this addiction and not to take it lightly. But in addition to that I wanted to share my testimony about how God not only freed me from this addiction, but how it has fueled my purpose it helping others take care of themselves: mind, body and soul. Next week I will be sharing a What I Eat In A Day blog to help encourage you all to get healthy, lose weight and break away from unhealthy eating habits.
I want to end this blog with a prayer that I would write and confess for myself.
Dear Lord today I come to you in need of strength against food addiction. This thing feels bigger than me. I no longer want this addiction and the control that it has over me. I am ready to be a new person – a strong, powerful, overcoming man/woman of God. You tell us in your Word that you have given us power over all things. Starting today I am going to begin walking in that power.
Your Sista on the Sofa