Drive By

I’m emotionally drained. Working as a counselor and being gifted in this area can be a lot at times. People constantly laying their burdens on you. I would be lying if I said that weight doesn’t get heavy at times.

I’ve shared in the past my struggles with depression. During that season I learned that I was not God, that I do become tired, weary and just down right exhausted. In that season God taught me that my total dependence lies within him. That the weight I feel, is not my load to carry in the first place. I am a vessel only, my strength comes from God, he is my source and I am to remind his people that the same God that instills wisdom, peace, joy, love and protection in me, will give it to them.

This post however is for everyone that has be to there for someone whether it is a spouse, family, children, friends, coworkers or your profession. What to do when you are running on empty.

These past few months, I feel like I’ve been running off of fumes. Ya know, just enough energy to get me from point A to point B. Day in and day out the same thing, lacking my fuel to go any further. Then God started to speak to me in my quiet time (early mornings), he kept whispering to me, you have not been spending time with me. You are doing drive by. Just enough to see if I’m still there but not enough to be fed by me.

When God speaks to you, it is imperative that you obey, sadly I acknowledged that I heard him but kept going with my same routine, doing just enough to get me to the next day. The end result of this has left me feeling emotionally drained and sick. I have lacked joy and honestly the ability to function at my highest potential, because I have been distracted with myself and my own abilities…….leaving me completely out of relations with God. (terrible position to be in)

So what do you do when you find yourself here? Go back to giving God your undivided attention.

Earlier in the year I spoke about carving out quiet time with God. I call my time (Power Hour). 20 minutes of prayer, 20 minutes of studying God’s word, and a 20 minute sermon or worship music. I stopped doing this because I wanted to sleep in and it amazes me how much more power I had walking into each day because of the time I spent with God.

Secondly I implemented No tech zone ( I disconnect from social media, text messages, and phone calls) to have uninterrupted time with my family. I do this from 7 to 9, it allows intimate time with my daughter as we eat dinner and watch a show together. This time also allows us to have hard conversations about life, religion, perception and anything else our children deal with as they are  growing up. Again if I need to have quality time with my maker, it is important to give that type of time to our children or loved ones in general.

I have a gratitude journal, it is a reminder on really hard days why God has called me to be a mother, a future wife, a teacher, counselor, oldest sibling  of eight and a core component in my friendships. It is also a reminder that I can’t do it without the help of God. Matter fact he is the only way that I can do it successfully without going crazy(no cap).

So I want to leave you all with this. If you are constantly feeling like life is pulling you in multiple directions, you don’t have any energy for the things or people you care about the most. Disconnect, slow down and ask God what it is that he wants from you.

Proverbs 12:25 says that “

 

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad.”

Turn off the TV, your phone, your music and tap into unaccompanied with God daily and watch the trajectory of your life change.

Father God I come before you today with a prayer and a reminder that we need you daily. That the things we deem important are only temporarily, but what you provide is forever and cannot be taken away. That sometimes in our darkest hours, we have to be reminded that you are sovereign, help us understand your total power. Order our steps and renew our mind daily, as we walk with you in purpose.

Sincerely,

Your Sista on the Sofa,

Kendal