Now typically I try to avoid celebrity drama or gossip. However, I felt compelled to speak on this particular topic. Ayesha and the ladies in her family who are all in relationships with a professional athlete, sat down with Jada for The Red Table Talk show.
The big statement that made Ayesha go viral recently was her admitting wanting to feel desirable to other men besides her husband. Definitely a controversial statement, so much so it had both men and women picking sides. Was she wrong or was she right?
Before answering this statement, I want us to challenge a couple of things.
What makes us desire attention outside of our relationship? In my observation of Ayesha which whom I truly adore, I believe she is a great woman and I admire her honesty throughout the entire episode. From the perspective as a counselor I believe she revealed an insecurity that she may be dealing with. Not sure where the insecurity stems from, but there is no doubt about it, there is an insecurity that is prevalent.
Insecurity is usually triggered by us of having a fear, doubt about something. Ayesha mentioned the women who are constantly around her, “friendly husband “, this inherently could be the very thing that is feeding into that doubt which is ultimately causing her to want to be affirmed outside of her marriage. That is a dangerous position to be in!
If I was able to have a conversation with a man or woman in this position, I would ask where is your identity rooted in?
Who has the power to determine who you are or what your worth is?
I asked that because I would want to know, where does that sense of approval truly come from. Let me say this, words of affirmation feels good and it is definitely my love language however what happens when I’m not affirmed? Well if I’m being honest most people walk away from situations that don’t feed their ego, they get upset and mention a long line of the things that they bring to the table. I usually stop them at this point and state, when you are on a kingdom assignment, God see’s you and when it’s the right moment you will get the recognition that is needed, not for you but for his glory only.
So after Ayesha made that statement, I can just imagine all of the negative outcomes. Again there is freedom in being truthful and exposing that part of her heart, that was brave, I believe it was just to the wrong people. Tell your husband, tell your Godly community, tell people that will speak life back into you and your marriage. Having such a raw conversation with God appointed people allows for truth to be spoken in a respectful way and exposes those false beliefs( like her feeling like she needs men attention to remind her she is desirable).
I want to close with this, from what I’ve witnessed Steph Curry seems like an amazing husband, and Ayesha appears to be a great wife. That God has given both of them individually and together gifts that will be used to serve a greater purpose bigger than their marriage. So it is imperative being a Christian couple in the spotlight to always be spirit lead.
As for us, the viewers, before we go in on a topic, it is important to weigh both sides and after identifying a weakness, pray for transformation before casting our opinion. There was a need that was mentioned and it was authentic. Many women stated that they could relate to what Ayesha said, again another need mentioned, however men/women begin to attack one another. This post was meant to encourage anyone looking for outside validation from this world. The world is a rocky place, people will truly love you one day and knock you down the next. People’s opinions are forever wavering like the sea. Therefore your identity can not be rooted in what other people view you as but in who God already told you were!
He said we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are unique, there is no one else like you. That’s special and holding onto that truth, should give any woman, including Step Curry’s wife that’s she’s irreplaceable, not because of her position but because God created her.
Dear Heavenly Father,
my prayer tonight is for anyone who may be struggling with insecurities, validation or uncertainty, Lord that you speak directly to their situation. Reminding each individual who they are and what you have called them to do, that even when the world may not notice, you see everything. That it is ok to lay our heart open regarding our deepest fears and help us over come them, in Jesus name amen.
Your Sista on the Sofa,