I recently I binged watched the latest season of Temptation Island. So, a little backdrop on this series four couples agree to go to this island where they live among a group of singles, to test the strength of their relationship.
Initially I’m like wait, who, what and why would someone even put themselves in this type of predicament, but after the first episode God started to reveal some things that I believe he wanted me to share.
The purpose of the show is to be tempted and what I begin to notice is how the spirit of lust comes up against us and we mistake it for deep connections. We get so caught up on this person being our soulmate, “the one”, twin flame…..what ever you want to call when in all actuality it is just lust.
Disclaimer most of the topics I speak on are from my own experience and this one I definitely have dealt with first hand. I remember being so infatuated with this guy, that I genuinely mistake that feeling of butterflies and being on this high constantly when I was in his presence with real love. Which was not the case at all.
As I continued to watch the remainder of the season and witness the heartbreak, confusion, anger and ultimately majority of the couples not being successful. I started thinking to myself, that’s what the enemy does in our life, outside of a TV show he dangles things in front of us that look beautiful to the eye, that feels good to our flesh in the moment, but serves absolutely no value to our spirit. He is the ultimate tempter.
So how do we avoid not mistaken love for lust?
The first guided question I asked myself is what are we missing or what is lacking? For the couples on the show is was different things: infidelity, lack of confidence, spontaneity, doubt etc. For myself during that time period it was direction.
I had adopted a new attitude, I was walking in my own path, not aware of my purpose and definitely unaware of my Kingdom position. I knew who my heavenly father was but I was out of his will completely. (When we lack that relationship with God, anything that shines will be tempting, and I fell right into temptation.) I did things that went against everything I know, but the lust I felt was so good to my flesh, I couldn’t stop feeding into the very thing that would take me down a path to my darkest moments.
After coming out of my depression and eating disorder. I said a particular prayer, I needed God to clean my life up because I was battling some serious demons. I never wanted to end up in that dark hour again. God re-introduced the concept of waiting to me. I asked God how can people wait and not have sex? It seemed so unnatural. I’ll never forget hearing Megan Good talk about that being an area of her life where “God just understands”, it was when in this moment God showed me repeatedly how I would be able to do it.
Which leads me to my next point, once you have discovered who you are in Christ and your purpose. You will have to establish the word everyone loves “boundaries”. Testimony, after testimony continue to hear people share their boundaries. The happy feeling you feel when you are connecting with someone and that confusion feeling when it is over is what I like to call Oxytocin. Oxytocinis a social hormone released with eye contact, physical touch, and sex. This hormone which is not a bad thing, however when used out of context in marriage, it is a dangerous thing. So incorporating boundaries is an important thing. My boundaries were: Not being alone after a certain time, always letting someone know if we were going to be alone to hold me accountable, no late-night conversations, or anything that would cause me to feel tempted including kissing.
I’ll close with this the other night I was thinking about a guy I messed with a few years ago. I had a moment where I thought back on those late-night phone calls or text messages that were tempting for me to give into that lustful relationship that I once knew. The enemy whispered to me, its late no one will find out……. I thought about the confusion that comes along with it and the freedom from staying out of lust and being loved properly, God’s way. That’s what keeps me going.
Dear Heavenly Father, tonight I’m praying for anyone that may be tempted to fall into to lust. My prayer is that you strengthen their mind, guide their thoughts, help them be mindful of what they allow their senses to be entertained or tickled by. Build up confidence in any area’s of weakness and discernment to know what has been sent by you only. In Jesus name I pray amen.
Your Sista on the Sofa