So, remember back in July when I did the combability series. I thought now would be the perfect time to discuss embracing our loved one’s differences.
I believe it is a common belief that the fewer differences we have with others the better the relationship will be. This may be true, but the reality is not everyone will think like you all the time. So, it is how we choose to embrace differences that matter.
I thought it would be important to equip you with the tools to guide through accepting some of those differences.
- You have to accept the person for who they are. Understand that we are all different, if you read my combability series, you know the impact of our family origin and the roles of things that happen to us in general and how they play a huge part in who we are as individuals. You have to learn to accept. Understand who that person is at the core and embrace them for that.
- Adjust your attitude in regard to a person differences in needs. For example, if you are aware that a person has a need to be more social, they physically get bothered about constantly being at home. Don’t be upset and think to yourself “ugh they can never sit down, they are always on the move”, instead view in a positive way. I’m glad they are stepping out and experiencing some enjoyment. Changing your attitude will shift the atmosphere entirely as it relates to the peace between you two.
- Wholeheartedly accept those differences without judging. The best way to not judge is to seem their point of view from their personal lens. I think when we think of things outside of our own perspective, it changes how we view things in general. But most importantly it removes that judging undertone.
- Focus on the positive characteristics you like and appreciate rather than focusing on their differences. As well as keeping an open mind to their differences.
- By embracing your loved one’s differences, you provide the greatest opportunity to communicate unconditional love. Unconditional love is not only feeling love no matter what but extending that same type of love to our friends, family and spouses, that you will love them despite those differences and without conditions.
I want to close with this that God created us all differently, which honestly that is a beautiful thing. Rewiring your thinking towards others who may not always be on one accord with you, is the ultimate way of not only spreading more love, but a key component to having and maintaining a thriving relationships. Based on your responses during our discussion from this previous week, this type of mindset shift isn’t easy, however if we know we have certain loved ones in our lives that we can’t just cut off because they are different. I believe these mindset shifts are a great place to start.
As always, Happy Dating
Your Sista on the Sofa,