I remember watching an episode last season of Married at First Sight. There was a couple that was on there where the guy wanted to write an original piece Christmas song. I remember the wife getting so upset and saying……he has too many dreams. In that moment my heart crushed for him, because I couldn’t imagine not feeling supported by loved ones, when I have a dream.
As time went on, I continued to discover more relationships with the dreamer versus realist dynamic. So, I thought I write a blog with 5 ways to support the dreamer in your life.
- Prayer: It is easy especially for a realist. To look at only what is in front of them. One thing about a dreamer that I admire is the amount of faith they have. They truly believe they can accomplish all that they desire. I believe that is possible too, once you activate your faith. So, for the realist pray. Prayer is a sure way to soften your heart and allow God to show you the vision not only for your life but give you direction to help guide the dreamer in your life.
- Speak life into them. I know what yall are thinking, yes Kendal we heard this before, however it may be the same tune, but it never gets old. I truly believe power and life is in the tongue, so use it accordingly. Speak encouraging words over them, you know how good it feels to hear I believe in you or this is your purpose, this is what God made you for. I may or may not have shared this before but my first big experience with speaking life into someone was when I taught special education high school students. I had the highest passing rate in the district for my students. This wasn’t by accident and I was very intentional with how I built them up. Words are power use them accordingly when supporting your dreamer.
- Speaking of words, one of the biggest ways you can support your dreamer is by asking the following, “How Can I Help”, the reality is the dreamer can’t do it all. So, having that support even if it is a small task, is helpful and a sure way to make the dreamer feel supported.
- Depending on the dynamic of your relationship, the realist may have to sacrifice something for instance if you are a married couple. Your partner might be in grad school, working extra hours on schoolwork, so you can’t hang out the same way you did before. It is a temporary sacrifice, however that does not diminish the fact that it may not be the easiest thing to do. Sacrifice and extending grace, displaying joy while doing it is an excellent way to make your loved one feel supported.
- Finally pursue your purpose. Let’s have a moment of transparency. I don’t think a lot of people will admit to this, but I am going to say it. It is easy to be opinionated regarding someone else’s situation and dreams, when you are not pursuing your purpose. A lot of time the realist, is only a realist because they are afraid of the vision that God has placed over their lives. They are frightened and paralyzed by their own fear, so much so that they can’t believe the dreamer has the audacity to go after what is already promised to them! Please don’t let this be you. You posses power, gifts and strengths, that God put into for a reason. Don’t rest on your gifts, pursue them wholeheartedly and understand that you supporting your dreamer does not take away from you. The same energy that you are powering into your loved ones, you will reap the benefits when it is your time to shine.
Hen we choose to do life with people, we are committing to their thoughts, dreams, joys and even their sufferings. As you move throughout the dynamic of a marriage, being a Mom or Dad, sibling or whatever role you serve in people’s lives remember that working together will not only bring more glory to God, but you play such an instrumental role in the development of that dream. Use your power righteously.
As always happy dating,
Your Sista on the Sofa,