Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the states. I know how hard this day can be for singles (women and men who are not married) to get bombarded with the infamous question, “So when are you or yall getting married”?
Ironically enough for me, my family on my Mom’s side doesn’t ever ask me about a man lol other topic for a different day but here in the south ( I Live in Texas) My Dad’s family or other close family and friends always ask me. I have been mentally prepared for years since I am currently not married (soon though) but I wanted to leave all my singles with some tips on how to survive this holiday season as a single.
I am huge on protecting my peace. If you have family members or friends who aren’t supportive or judgmental in this area of your life, let them know you don’t want to discuss with them or avoid being around them if possible. You don’t have to be disrespectful at all but be clear and direct, so they understand that you have a personal boundary in place.
Next tip: make sure you surround yourself with positive people who encourage you. Let’s be honest for most singles this time of year can be hard, you definitely want people in your corner who support you emotionally. So, reach out to your squad and let them know they are your backup at the family function.
Through my own experience seeing and being surrounded by married people, you may naturally add your own pressure to yourself. A good reflective question is, why am I feeling pressured? Is this something I genuinely want or is a societal pressure? It is a good opportunity to engage with your family if you are feeling up to the conversation and ask them the following. Are you genuinely concerned about my state of happiness? Do you feel like there is a particular age that I need to be married by? And hear them out it might help eliminate future conversations about your relationship status and you might get a better perspective in where they are coming from.
If this current season is too much, put a limit on long you are going to visit and go home and take care of yourself (listening to music, going to visit friends, dancing, journaling, watching a movie) fill your cup up . I want to encourage my readers that the best relationships are formed from happy singles. You set the tone and remind your family and friends that you would love a companion but its better to be alone then marry wrong. I truly believe everyone should be able to understand that. I hope this post was helpful and Happy Holidays!
Your Sista on the Sofa,