Initially when I heard about imposter syndrome I was truly confused. I thought to myself how can be a superwoman or man be a negative thing.
However the mindset of feeling like you can or should do it all isn’t always positive. Show up to all parent meetings, keep a clean house, volunteer and serve at the church, start your own business and work your 9-5. All these things can and will be overwhelming not only affecting you but the relationships around you.
Pay attention if you have been experiencing the following: sleepless nights and other poor health choices such as overeating, excessive drinking, overindulgent shopping, and other mood-altering coping responses.
When we leave the Superwoman and Man imposter syndrome left unchecked and never addressed this will cause physical and emotional fatigue, a decline in health, and additional negative effects.
So, what do we do about it?
Get in the habit of sharing your emotions. I know it is hard to be vulnerable, especially with this imposter syndrome. But releasing our emotions are healthy and a great way to process our emotions. I was talking to a colleague who is a mental health professional. We had two people pass away from our school, so she came to do a wellness check on me. The conversation may have been no longer than 10 minutes and I felt so much lighter and better. So, let those emotions out and if you don’t have a counselor or therapist 2021 is the year to get one.
Learn and practice the power of No. This was a game changer for me personally. I felt so much freedom when I found the balance of telling people no and understanding I couldn’t show up for them or things every time. The beauty of my no showed me how many people figure things out when you allow them too.
Naturally I am a caregiver. I love pouring into people especially families. Its ok to do things that feed your soul and spirit so don’t forget to find a good balance of saying yes as well.
Don’t sleep on yourself!!! What I mean by that is, this imposter syndrome is easy for you to neglect all your basic needs. Implement your own self care non negotiables. And stick to them. Mine are : Yoga, 20 minute guided Christian mediation, reading and journaling in the morning, not taking calls on my way to work in the morning and listening to my favorite podcast, getting to work at least thirty minutes early so I can set my intentions for the work day with Worship Piano Music in the background, running at the end of the day, as well disconnecting from my phone to spend quality time with my family.
Do your Top Three. This was a technique I learned from Erin On Demand a youtuber and black entrepreneur. It is and was a game changer for me. It helps me prioritize my day. You can apply the top three for not only work but your home life. Another way to keep your life balanced and allowing you to enjoy it instead of stressing.
Finally learn to ask for help. For years I gotten in the habit of I can do it all and I don’t need help. I realized that was a false way of thinking and was negatively impacting my quality of life and the relationships I have. Learning to receive help is another cheat code in life and I’ll be honest it feels good and safe knowing I have people in my corner who really got me. So, lean into your people and allow to show up for you in ways you couldn’t imagine.
Remember we can’t save anyone, if we aren’t taken care of first.
Your Sista on the Sofa,