The Soloist – Imposter Syndrome and 4 Mindset Shifts to Change it

Let me first start off by saying I am guilty of this imposter syndrome as well.

The Soloist is someone who prefers to work alone usually in efforts to prove their worth. I think this may vary depending on the person. For me I struggle in this area due to a lack of trust of others. The soloist in reality has learned to completely and solely depend on themselves.

Soloist may have thoughts like I don’t want to be a burden to others.

I can figure things out on my own.

Which let me be very frank there is nothing wrong with being self-reliant however it is not the only way.

When you have the Soloist mindset you are making things harder on yourself. Which causes you more stress and mental fatigued. Making you no good to your relationships and businesses.

So how do you let go and allow others to help you?

Did you know that a large body of research shows that when people work together smartly, it can unleash energy that boost creativity, productivity, engagement, communication and efficiency. This is in both business and relationships.

Now before I give you tips on how to overcome being a soloist I wanted to remind you really quick of some benefits of working with others.

Great Ideas don’t come from lone geniuses. Let’s look at sports for a minute would Michael Jordan be who he was without Scottie or Phil? All I am saying is if you allow others in, yall can play off of one another’s skills, ultimately making you a better force to be reckoned with than what you could do on your own.

True success comes from discomfort of some sort. So, allowing your guard to be let down and listening to a different perspective or view may change the trajectory of your success in a positive way.

Working as a team makes you happy. When I can depend on the people around my day and mood is much better. It also gives me an opportunity to grow. You are more receptive to feedback allowing you to be better as a Mom, Friend, Lover, and Employee or Manager.

Delegating task allows you to focus on an area that you are good at and giving everyone an opportunity to glow in a particular area. On top of that decreasing stress for you. Again, you want to show up in all of your roles the best person as possible. When you are feeling burnout, you may act like:

chronic stress with physical symptoms, like headaches and stomachaches or intestinal issues.

Burnout causes people to feel drained, unable to cope, and tired. They often lack the energy to get their work done.

Burnout mainly affects everyday tasks at work—or in the home when someone’s main job involves caring for family members. Individuals with burnout feel negative about tasks. They have difficulty concentrating and often lack creativity.

So, what can we do to shift the soloist to a team player?

The first mindset shift that needs to take place is identifying a vision and goal for the parts of your life that you prefer to work alone. Once you figure that out start to tell yourself that you are committing to the success of your family, the relationship or the job.

Be flexible, yes, I know that power you have, how smart you are, how creative you are, but you aren’t the only one, be open to hearing other people’s opinions. Understand they are valid as well and consider them fully. If you want success in anything you are building understand that collaboration is the key.

If trust is a big issue you lack when allowing others to assist you try building people up. It is really simple people are more willing to show up when encouraged and praise. So, start showing appreciation to those around you and watch them start showing up more consistently.

Communicate, communicate, communicate open up when you may be feeling stress or overwhelmed, ask if there anyway someone can assist you in a particular area (being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human). We are not machines continue to build yourself up daily with affirmations but while you are affirming yourself make sure your affirmations allow you to show up as your best self which includes being a team player.

I hope this blog was helpful!

As always,

Happy Dating,


Your Sista on the Sofa,