Is My Relationship and Asset or Liability

This week I posed a question on my social media platforms (Instagram and Facebook) asking people if they were assets or a liability within their relationships.

The response was very minimum…. One of my friends said what if people don’t know.

I thought that was a valid point, so I wanted to give some self-reflection characteristics to help you all identify the contributions you bring within a relationship unit.

One thing to consider is are the people attached to you an all-around better person because of you. I know for me I was elevated so much by my person. I remember praying to God for a culture man, somebody whose mind was expansive. I really dislike a box minded mentality. Once I met him, I tried new foods, implemented daily new habits that helped me overall be a better person. Another huge factor that changed was the way I viewed money and material things, lol don’t get me wrong I like nice things still but my perspective on how I spend has changed significantly. I also transitioned into a legacy mindset when it came to generational wealth and even entrepreneurship. My habits genuinely changed for the better. Most importantly I struggled with just being selfish, I watched someone walk out daily what is to give like Christ and my whole prospective changed. That’s what I mean by being a better person. People should be better because you are in their life. (asset)

I know there are people who just like to obtain knowledge when I speak about learning, that’s not what I mean. What are you learning or bringing to the table from your own life experiences to be able to add value to their life? I know I big on being purposeful and intentional and because it is something, I am passionate about you will hear me often ask people their purpose. My goal is to definitely get you in alignment with that purpose or stay in alignment with walking in your purpose. This type of knowledge and energy exchange brings a whole different value within that relational unit. (asset)

Let’s discuss finances in more depth. In your relationship you should be better off financially than before you were single. Clearing debts, increased credit score and even investments. Nothing lights of my soul more than seeing couples especially black couples showing up, leading a different lifestyle than what has been historically taught to us. So, as you are entering a relationship or you may already be in one. Think about your own money story and how you are going to adjust and implement things to be an asset.

I believe health is contagious! Because I am so passionate about living a purposeful life, I know my health needs to be in order to do this kingdom work. I can not do that when I am not showing up taking care of myself. I am also not a fan of modern day health (whole other topic) so having someone who is not only physically active is important to me, but someone who is health conscious when it comes to what we are putting in our bodies and our children’s bodies. I know everyone’s diet doesn’t have to look the same, but you and your significant other should definitely be pushing each other to show up as the best version of themselves. So, I love messages on what I should eat and how often I should be moving. It keeps me on my toes, and I am able to show up for my clients because of it. (asset)

ENERGY I am not going to lie to yall. As a relationship coach and counselor, I am big on couples interaction and their energy. I can always tell when something or someone isn’t right because their energy speaks before they even open their mouth. So be mindful, singles who are dating make sure you are healed, pleasant, fun, etc. before attaching yourself to someone. Couples make sure you have your own personal rituals that help you maintain a good positive attitude. You don’t want to be the cause of people feeling drained when they are around you. A negative attitude is definitely a huge (liability) So stay positive!

To close remember before aligning your life with another person, you have to look within yourself and see if you are an asset to your own life. Take a self-inventory and if you already in a relationship, I encourage you to look at how much value you add to your spouse’s life in every aspect: mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, and emotionally. If you don’t know ask them, where can or could you be improving.  Remember if you are looking for a transformative coach that will help your relationships get back in alignment with your purpose please feel free to book a call. Let’s see how I can help.

As Always,

Happy Dating,


Your Sista on the Sofa,