Are We Equally Yoked

This post was inspired by the couple Clara and Ryan. All my Married At First Sight Fans know exactly who I am talking about but for those who don’t know let me give you the back story.

Clara had grown up in a religious background but had decided to part ways from the constraints of religion and her counterpart Ryan had opposite views. He wanted to raise the kids in the church, Clara wanted her children to decide for themselves.

If I was their relationship coach and they decided to take pre-martial classes with me, here’s what I would have done.

In my humble opinion all equally yoked means is are we compatible and in areas that really matter to ensure the test of time.

So, you may be wondering what my wheel of equally yoked represents?

I put them in four categories, the first one Faith.

As I mentioned before our faith is at the center of what we believe. I know with me some things as simple as picking a realtor, working with a business coach, fitness coach or even what I share with loved ones is all center around their belief system. Let’s be honest life is good, it is a gift, however it will throw us curved balls. The partner that you build with, should have some foundational beliefs that match up with yours. I know how I pray and meditate; I don’t want my partner to feel weird or uncomfortable about how I worship or praise. I also know the importance of two coming together to pray for something real specific that feels impossible and God shifting that whole situation around. That’s not by accident and that comes from believers being equally yoked standing in his word.  So, before you marry ask yourself can this person and I pray together? Can we worship together? Whatever setting that looks like for you…just make sure there is a foundation that is present.

Similar to faith, we all have core values. Our values are where we place importance on family, friends, money etc. Core values are deeply held beliefs. Those beliefs dictate how you behave in your life, and with others. Having a significant other who holds those same beliefs is a wonderful complement to the relationship. Our core values are the building blocks to a strong foundation in our relational systems. Remember that your core values may change over the course of your life. You may have one set of values when you’re younger, and then experience situations that alter those values when you’re are older, just keep in mind that whatever changes occur need to be in sync with your partners for your relationship’s success. If I was speaking to Clara and Ryan this another point that I would have emphasized to them.

Mindset is so vital. If you were to start any type of business program right now, the first thing they address is your mindset. Because what you think, is your reality.  I always say mindset matters but especially in relationships. Let’s tackle one the biggest debates vaccinations versus no vaccinations. I personally don’t think there is a wrong or right answer, however when you are looking to build a life with someone, my perspective shifts. When raising children together or even looking after our elderly parents, our perspective as a unit matter. So, what do you do? Mindset plays a huge role in our beliefs and values; it is the vehicle that drives all those thoughts. So, we have to first know our own thoughts and how they serve in our day to day decisions and make sure we find a mate who is in alignment with those thoughts. Otherwise that relationship is going to be a bumpy ride.

Lastly, chemistry is essential, just as important as the other three categories I mentioned earlier. Chemistry is a mix of physical, emotional and spiritual attraction. If you have been following me for a while, probably the last decade, my goal has always been to help people get in alignment with their purpose mate. Lol I have a pretty large group of friends and watching them date was interesting, they always seemed to make these connections. What I soon came to realize is that they weren’t actually deep connections. So now in my practice I utilize those three components of physical, emotional and spiritual attraction. That helps my clients weed out who and who isn’t the right one for them. I believe there was a chemistry issue with Clara and Ryan as well.

I hope this was helpful and you all learned something that can be applied to your own dating or relationships. If you are looking to get in alignment with your purpose mate and ultimately be your own relationship goals book a free call with me today, to see if I am the right fit for you.

As always readers,

Happy Dating,


Your Sista on the Sofa,