Do Men Set the Tone in Relationships

I had a few people on my social media reach out to me and share this clip. In the video the pastor describes how the men sets the tone in the relationship and the woman creates the atmosphere.

I loved this correlation, but it had me thinking…

One can the two be intertwined and what does those roles look like.

Y all know my motto you can not play the game, if you don’t know the rules.

So, let me give you all the breakdown.

 For my men, time and time again, I see women saying they will follow a man with a clear vision. But when you are establishing your vision, understand your power of influence and your ability to inspire. I want you to understand that when your woman understands the impact and mission of you two becoming one, the buy in will look different, it will be proceeded by passion which will create and help maintain a successful union.

One thing I teach in my coaching practice is to model behavior. Have you ever noticed how much men or women want their partner to change things about themselves? Lol let me be the first to tell how impactful modeling behavior is. Especially as the men but both men and women can do this. If you are an affectionate person and you want your wife to greet you with a kiss in the morning, kiss her, tell her how much you adore her and love her and she will most likely continue to do this throughout your relationship.

Men let your family know they are a priority how do you this by establishing routines, rituals and boundaries around the things that matter to you : family movie nights, dinner together, date nights, showering or bathing together and even going to bed together.

Don’t forget to manage your moods, we know we will not have a good day everyday. Set the example of how you will start your day. I love when a man, wakes up early to pray and meditate, move his body by working out, and just soak in quiet time, to set the tone for the day. Women remember rather we know it or not it is a lot of weight men carry especially if they are trying to uphold the standards of being a provider and protector. So we must cover them in prayer as well as encourage them when they be slipping in the area of self care. I am very mindful of how and when I can help my man manage his moods.

Finally don’t forget to be present, engage in conversation with your family, pray with them, go on evening walks, whatever that presence looks like just do it. This is an essential component to setting the tone, being present shows that you value your family and that home is your first ministry.

Women here’s how we contribute:

Establish rituals (hugging, reading together, dancing together, cooking together) etc.

Create creative opportunities for quality time

Use your words to build people up (affirm, affirm, affirm)

Keep your space nice, clean, smelling good and organized ( book someone monthly to come in and deep clean if possible).

Prepare food with love and of nutritional value (lol use food kit meals if cooking is not your thing)

Add aroma therapy, worship and relaxation music to your home’s nightly or morning routine.

Workout and pray (this is how you manage and take care of yourself as well)

There is no right or wrong answer, I want to encourage couples to do what works for you, just remember to have a plan and work that plan. If you need help with getting your relationships in alignment with your initial goals, please feel free to reach out to book me. I would love to serve you.

As always readers,

Happy Dating,


Your Sista on the Sofa,