Hey readers, I am back this week, with a very hot topic.
We are discussing Narcissism.
Did you know all people have narcissistic traits to some degree. In healthy individuals, a normal amount of narcissism helps them take pride in their accomplishments and find joy in their personal life. Even a high degree of narcissism is sometimes a normal occurrence. Most teenagers display narcissistic qualities as a normal and healthy part of their development and personal growth.
However, narcissistic personality disorder is much less common., Approximately .5 % of the United States population, or one 1 in 200 people, has the disorder lol. My friends are always surprised when I share these stats. Also there are significant gender differences when it comes to the prevalence of the disorder; about 75 % of people with narcissistic personality disorder are men.
So I want to be clear that as a counselor we use the DSM-5 to diagnose .
Here are the criteria for narcissist personality disorder :
- A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (making themselves appear impressive)
- Need for admiration
- Fantasies about power, success, beauty or an idealized vision of love
- Sense of entitlement
- Belief of being special, unique or high-status
- Lack of empathy for others
- Tendency to exploit others
- Arrogant behavior
Remember that people with narcissistic personality disorder spend a significant amount of time comparing themselves to others. They often have fantasies about being exceptionally successful in their careers. Some individuals with this condition consider themselves to be superior to others, while others are overly critical of their own flaws. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be highly resistant to criticism or highly sensitive to perceived shade (no one likes them, they are jealous and envious).
So, now that you all have a better understanding of the prevalence of this disorder, let’s just say you have dealt with it or are dealing with it in your relationships, what do you do next?
If you are married and willing to stay in your marriage, here’s how I can help.
I address the need and the power of emotional support.
As your relationship coach, I have the ability to draw parallels with other important relationships your husband may have, like kids or pets. I will encourage the treatment of your wife, the same way you express love to your child.
I know the power of affirmations, I actually teach it to my clients, affirm yourself and your spouse. Because the need to impress is vital to a narcissist, I use the power of them trying to impress me, to the advantage of getting the behaviors to turn around, in your marriage. The narcissist is usually someone who wants to convince people how great they are, well I will affirm when behavior should be praised and acknowledged. This is a positive reinforcement system. Seems simple and may be off putting to others, but it works.
The goal in this type of dynamic again, for the person that wants to stay married, will be you finally feeling heard and appreciated, the positive reinforcement is what keeps the husband showing back up, allowing for a deeper substantial change to take place.
If you are single and looking to recover from a narcissist relationship, I can help
Or if you find yourself in a marriage, where your partner is displaying these characteristics, let me serve you. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but I promise I am committed to the process and will serve you the entire way.
If you are interested, book a chemistry call (consultation) and let’s see how I can serve you.
As always readers,
Sista on the Sofa,