If you follow any relationship experts then I am sure you have heard the term “ communication is the key”.
But let’s be honest, what does that even mean?
I know for my clients I am sure they feel like they are communicating the best way they know how and my readers probably feel the same.
I read a lot of posts that start with “ YES I HAVE COMMUNICATED THIS TO HIM/HER”.
It always made me wonder if people really knew how to create a safe communication environment at home.
So today I want to share a few tips on how to do this.
- Be available: Make time in everyone’s busy schedule to stop and talk about things. Even 10 minutes a day without distractions for you and your loved ones to talk. This can make a huge difference in forming good communication habits. Put up your technology and give your undivided attention. Just these small moments of connection can make the world of difference in how safe it feels to come and communicate with you.
- Be a good listener: When you listen to your spouse, you reassure them that what they have to say is valuable and you care about them. As you are listening, if you don’t understand something, say “ Just to make sure I heard you correctly, you said….” You do not have to agree with what your spouse is saying to be a good listener. Just sharing your thoughts helps your spouse feel connected with you. Be mindful when sharing your personal thoughts (read the room). Depending on the conversation it may be wise to wait to share how you are feeling.
- Show empathy: This means tuning in to your spouses feelings and letting them know you understand. If your spouse is sad or upset, a gentle touch or hug may let him know that you understand those negative emotions they are currently feeling. Do not tell your spouse how you think they should be feeling regarding a situation. Also don’t minimize these feelings by saying things like, “Man that’s crazy that you even feel that way,” or “Just get over it, it’s really not a big deal.” Your spouse’s feelings are real and should be respected. “I understand how that could be frustrating, is there anything outside of listening that I can do to help”. Is just one way to show empathy.
- Lead by example: I’m a huge believer in you reap what you sow. When I don’t always feel like being the bigger person, I do it anyway because it is my livelihood to continue to create a peaceful home and lifestyle. So be mindful to use words and tones in your voice that you want to model back to you. Make sure that your tone of voice, body language and words are all sending the same message. Avoid being condescending, we are all adults and can read or understand sarcasm. So take that into consideration when modeling and setting the standard in your home.
I hope this article was helpful. Remember if you can’t seem to break the bad communication cycles on your own, I am available to assist in my divorce proofing marriages program. My goal is to help you attract or keep your forever plus one because you didn’t get married to get a divorce. Book a chemistry consultation and let’s see if I am a right fit for your relational needs.
Sista on the Sofa,