March 12,2022 I will be hosting a free workshop on “3 Keys to Making It Last Forever”.
One of the keys I will be discussing is intimacy. This is a recurring topic in the private work I do with my clients.
Today’s blog is about how other forms of intimacy (or lack thereof ) causes a breakdown in sexual intimacy.
Let’s get a practical definition of Intimacy. Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have in our day to day lives. It involves being open and talking through your thoughts and emotions, letting your guard down (being vulnerable), and showing someone else how you feel and what your hopes and dreams are.
Some couples find it difficult to achieve intimacy in their relationship. Others can find that after achieving intimacy it seems to slip away. There are many reasons why some people find it difficult to achieve intimacy in their relationship. This is commonly the result of problems such as:
- Communication issues – if you and your partner are not communicating to each other what your feelings and needs are, more than likely they will not be met. If you do not feel understood by your partner then intimacy is hard to create or maintain. I encourage my clients to talk to your partner about what you need and to check in with them about how they are feeling. Come up with a plan to get those things in order. This activity can create a feeling of being connected and intimate.
- Conflict – if there is ongoing conflict in your relationship, it can be difficult to develop intimacy. It is not easy to feel close to someone you are arguing with. Anger, hurt, resentment, lack of trust, or a sense of being unappreciated can all affect intimacy. If conflict is affecting your relationship please look into hiring someone who fits your relational needs.
- Practical issues – practical issues and life stressors such as money problems, stress from work, concerns about children or family members, or just being too busy to really connect with each other can affect intimacy. There are times in a couple’s relationship when the needs of the couple have to be put aside while more pressing issues are dealt with, but it is important to try and carve out time together as a couple, this is why I encourage couples to establish rituals (small moments throughout the day where you connect even if it is ten minutes of drinking tea together or a 10 minute guided meditation video together). The goal is to always be intentional with the time you have, which leads to intimacy.
Remember: The more a couple is intimate with each other outside the bedroom, the more fulfilling their sex life becomes.
If this article resonates with you and you have been looking to divorce proof your marriage please don’t hesitate to book a chemistry consultation. I know you didn’t get married to get a divorce? Let’s work together and see how I can help you attract or keep your forever plus one.
Your Sista on the Sofa,