Hey readers, this week I am back and I am discussing why you need to break up with the concept of the “Strong Black Woman”.
Who is she? The Strong black woman is believed to be so powerful that she does not need a man or partner to get things done (she can do it herself) She will confidently work multiple jobs, get multiple degrees, take care of her household and raise kids all on her own. On the outside she appears to be defying all the odds (but on the inside she is tired and longing for support). When she is upset with her significant other she isn’t afraid to let them know how she can do everything on her own. She is a superwoman, but today I am giving her permission to let go of her cape.
First start by taking ownership of how you got here in the first place. Identify the root cause of where your story of being “superwoman”started. It is so much power and freedom in ownership.
Communicate : first talk to yourself and address this (it is not weak to accept help from your partner and honestly others). Identify how you would like to receive help. What things are you most comfortable with allowing them to step in and help you with first ?
Also let your partner know how you got here. Understanding someone’s story helps with being more empathetic and compassionate.
Start to trust and visualize that the person and people you have aligned yourself with will show up for you the way you need them too. Now listen yall don’t skip this step because it is powerful. You are renewing your mind and addressing any areas that may have been neglected in the past…you have to trust that God has now shifted gears and your needs are not only safe but they will be met. (This is visualization and prayer practice should be implemented daily).
Decide on an acceptable balance, I am not telling you all to strip away your identity but I am encouraging you to find a healthy balance. I want your load to be lightened. So get clear on expectations and get comfortable with receiving and relying on someone else.
Finally going back to the renewing of the mind, listen you are breaking old generational cycles by putting down your cape, so as much as you may feel like you are ready to allow someone to help, it may not be that simple. Remind yourself daily with these affirmations :
I trust my significant other
Help comes natural and freely to me
God always meets my needs and sends people in my path to help me along the way
It is ok to have limits on how much I show up for others
I am loved and protected.
Are you ready to divorce proof of your marriage? I work with singles and couples to help them attract or keep their forever plus one? Interested in knowing how I do it? Book a chemistry consultation. I look forward to serving you.
Your Sista on the Sofa,