Are We Compatible

This week’s blog is all about compatibility I know for many people in the Christian world zodiac signs are frowned up. Different topic for a different day, but what has always peaked my interest since a young girl was compatibility. Taking the personality characteristics of each sign and understanding why and how they work well together. Now that I’ve gotten older, I noticed a trend in the breakdown of how they categorize the compatibility component.

The first category is communication and intellectual compatibility: Intellectual compatibility is when both people are mentally stimulated by the same conversations.  Please don’t mistake this has having to have the same exact level of intelligence or identical in the way you think, however it does mean you both have the capacity to indulge in deep conversations that become mutually interesting for the two of you.

Pay attention to conversations always being centered around small talk, having extreme difference taste in music, one person is always teaching the other, you are only focused on the physical.

close up photo of man kissing woman
Photo by Avonne Stalling on

Speaking of physical, being compatible when it comes to sexual intimacy is important as well. Understanding what you enjoy, your own body and what your partner enjoys is also valuable. If you like spontaneity, the frequency, adventure, dressing up, whatever you are into, I truly believe this is a conversation that couples skip over and try to figure out, ends up leaving a lot of couples not satisfied and maybe even not sexually compatible.

We all understand how important trust in a relationship is. Without trust in your relationship you can have a whole lot of turmoil. So, pay attention to your partners level of openness, do they keep secrets? Talk about how you feel about sharing information with one another and watch how they interact with those close to them, do they lie? Do people trust them with big issues, life events etc. Knowing these things will help you determine, what trust will look like within your union.

Core values I wrote a blog post on identifying our core values, make sure you go back and read it. I will remind you however in this post that understanding your values can help you make the important decisions about how you want to live your life. Understanding the things that important to you is a major factor that will help you pivot throughout life, so in regard to relationships, truly knowing your core values, will help you identify quickly that someone isn’t aligned with you. Or someone who is compatible with you.

Simply put being emotionally compatible looks like a mutual understanding and empathy of one another’s feelings, that allow each individual to create a deep appreciation, affection, and intimacy with one another. One sure way to know if this is missing within your relationship is if you go outside of your relationship to feel supported or reassured by family and friends.  The main component to creating this type of level of intimacy is the ability to be vulnerable. To give your partner a safe space, this will help create a deeper emotional connection.

Research reveals that when couples are motivated to maintain relational quality, shared activities nurture and solidify the romantic relationship.  So please take into consideration as you are dating what things you can do together that builds on your compatibility and if the list is short, this person may or may not be in the person for you.


My mission is always motivated by me helping to build strong lasting relationships, so we can create emotionally healthy families. So when  it comes to having a successful relationships, compatibility should not be minimized. I want to be clear I am not saying that you and your spouse shouldn’t have disagreements or hard times but when you’re naturally compatible with someone, it is easier to see eye to eye on things, and also a more nurturing space where you can discuss your differences.

As always happy dating!


Your Sista on the Sofa,