How to Establish and Rebuild Trust in a Relationship

When both people are honest, open and trustworthy, couples can easily grow confident and secure in their relationship but what happens when there are trust issues. Trust issues can be very frustrating, I am speaking from personal experiences and observations of other relationship dynamics.

Mistrust can have damaging effects on your relationship. I thought it was important to equip my readers with practical tools to overcome mistrust.

The following are ways to establish trust in a relationship.

Acknowledge your feelings and practice being vulnerable in small steps: Build confidence in being more open with your partner. Discussing minor issues and building from there

Be honest and communicate about key issues in your relationship:
If things are bothering you be sure to be open and honest about those issues. When we hold those things in, they can cause us to resent the other person.

Challenge mistrustful thoughts:
Ask yourself: is my lack of trust due to my partner’s actions, my own insecurities, or both? Be aware of unresolved issues from your past relationships that may be triggering mistrust in the present. This is something that I have to implement a lot personally because by nature I have a suspicious personality.

Trust your intuition and instincts:
I always tell people to trust in your own perceptions and pay attention to red flags. Be vulnerable and ask for reassurance if you feel mistrustful. For example, I want to believe you, but I am having a hard time getting over “this”, because you said xyz.

Assume your partner has good intentions:
If he or she lets you down, it may just be a failure in competence–sometimes people simply make a mistake.

Listen to your partner’s side of the story:
Believe that they are being honest people unless you have a strong reason to mistrust him or her, meaning proof, you should give them the benefit of the doubt.

It is so important to take a break if you feel overwhelmed with emotions just a set a time to process what happened. This will give you both time to calm down and collect your thoughts so you can have a more meaningful dialogue with your partner and end with a resolution.  What I found to be true with working on conflict resolution is after a disagreement your focus needs to be on listening to your partner’s perspective, collaborating, building intimacy, and restoring safety and good will.

What if trust has already been broken?

You should set a time to talk

Name the emotions you experienced during the incident that cause the mistrust without blame or criticism.

Allow your partner to share their perspective without judgement and a true listening ear.  

Finally access how yall both contributed to the incident holding yourself accountable for the role you played. Apologize and create a plan of how to move forward.

Remember rebuilding trust in your relationship can be difficult after it has been broken or compromised. But with forgiveness and taking the actual steps to rebuild, reconciliation is possible. Hope this blog was helpful and as always happy dating!


Your Sista on the Sofa,